<![CDATA[Anxiety to Zen

<![CDATA[Anxiety to Zen - Blog]]>Mon, 06 Apr 2020 11:08:17 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]>Mon, 15 Aug 2016 14:13:26 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/lessons-learned2819812You will keep facing the same situations and challenges until you learn the lessons the universe is teaching you.

As someone with anxiety, I spend a lot of time trying to control and guide things. I always like to have a sense of knowing how things will turn out, or could turn out. I have found that a lot of people with anxiety often do this. Having that control, whether real or imagined, helps ease anxiety because it offers us predictability - and that's something an anxious mind thrives off of. But lately I am drawn to the idea that this control we seek might actually be doing more harm than good when it comes to our stress.

External situations cannot be controlled. We can play a part, we can have a role, but there is no way we can fully create the outcome. All we can do is control our individual part. We can move forward with things the way we would like to, but at some point we have to let go. I realized my desire to control things a long time ago. It used to be as simple as my always needing to drive when out with friends or me trying to force the plans for the evening so that i could make sure I was comfortable with what we were doing. I hated surprises and had to know everything. I never thought about it really being influenced by my anxiety, but it was. My need to control was always because I wanted to avoid becoming anxious.

I have definitely loosened the reigns in the past few years, but every now and again I get caught up in that need to control. I recently realized that I've spent a countless amount of time and energy trying to control something in my life that had been causing me frustration. Just like all the other times in my life, when I tried to take over and force things to happen, it always just lead to more stress, frustration and anxiety. The cycle continued and that extra stress made me want even more control. One night as I was again tossing and turning and losing sleep due to my frenzied mind, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The universe is once again offering me a lesson and a way to step back, trust, and let go. I was becoming crazed and consumed with stress and instead of seeing this, realizing it, and releasing control, I became more obsessed with taking over. That day I made a promise to myself to trust. There are times to step up and times to let go and I feel so much more freedom now. I'm staying hyper aware of when that stress and anxiety begin to rise, and if it does, I'm going to return to that promise. Until we learn the lesson, the universe will keep presenting us with the same situations and same people.

Think about things in your life that cause you to be anxious, situations that make you stressed or people that create tension, and see if there is a lesson the universe is trying to teach you.

#letgo

sat nam
xo b]]><![CDATA[5 Mini Mantras to Get Your Through a Panic Attack]]>Thu, 28 Jul 2016 15:53:10 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/5-mini-mantras-to-get-your-through-a-panic-attackI've depended on mantras during quite a few times in my life. I use them when meditating, to stay motivated, to release stress, and especially when I had panic attacks.

Here are my 5 favorite mini mantras to help cope with anxiety and panic when they show up

1~ This is only anxiety. It can't hurt me.

2~ Even though it may feel like it, I'm not in actual danger.

3~ As I breathe, this will pass.

4~ I release this feeling to the universe and trust that everything will be ok

5~ I'm in charge and my anxiety doesn't rule me

I call on these mantras when I'm feeling stressed out, if I feel panic start to rise or if I find myself dealing with a situation that feels overwhelming.

Mantras are a great way to work through anxiety because they do two things for us- they stop our minds from spinning out of control by giving us something to focus on (which releases anxiety's grip on us) and brings us back to the present moment (which is helpful when anxiety riddles us with 'what if' thinking and future freaking).

Write these down and put them where you can see them! Tape them to the bathroom mirror, hang them on the refrigerator or keep them folded up on a piece of paper in your wallet.

Pick one that feels good for you, or create your own!, and use it when you start to feel that all too familiar feeling of stress or tension.

sat nam

xo, b

]]><![CDATA[How to Allow People to Show Up for You in Their Own Way]]>Sat, 16 Jul 2016 19:05:05 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/how-to-allow-people-to-show-up-for-you-in-their-own-wayHave you ever been disappointed by someone because they didn't do what you thought they would? Or because they didn't handle a situation the way you wanted them to? I've been there. It used to stress me out (and, honestly, make me upset!) when people wouldn't come through for me the way I would've liked them to, or frankly, the way I expected them to. The thing about thinking like this is that it's not really the other person that's affected by any of this- it's you! A co-worker didn't realize I was agitated if they didn't complete a project the way I preferred them to and my friends didn't notice if I was pissed because I anticipated them to do something they didn't.
My issue was that I was focusing on projecting my internal expectations to external people and circumstances.. and then getting frustrated at the outcome! Thing is, we can't control other people. We can't always control outcomes. But what we can control, or take part in, are our own expectations.

Here are 3 ways to allow people to show up for you in their own ways~

*Give them space to

I know... sometimes we think it's easiest if we just do things ourselves. I get it. But if you don't create space for people to step in, they never will. Be open to letting someone help you or take them up on their advice. Instead of shutting people out, give them the opportunity to be there for you and they often will!

*Ditch expectations

A lot of times we get frustrated because people don't do what we would like them to. Guess what? They aren't you! Everyone has their own way of doing things and if you always hold people to your expectations, instead of accepting them the way they are, it will always be you that's let down.

*Accept (and be thankful for!) what's offered

Even if it's not how you anticipated it or what you expected, if someone reaches out to you in an honest and caring way, allow yourself to accept and appreciate the gesture. People can't read minds and someone may be genuinely showing you love, but because it's not what you thought it would look like, you don't recognize it. Maybe it's a text instead of a phone call or a card instead of a visit. Don't hold anger or frustration towards someone else's way of showing you they care.

Once I started creating space for people, ditching my expectations of how I thought things "should" go and learned to accept and appreciate people and outcomes, I found I became a lot less stressed out about things. I was able to find value in things I might not have before and I even gave myself the permission to show up for people however I could, instead of putting immense pressure on myself to be who and what they wanted me to be.

sat nam!

xo b
]]><![CDATA[Past, Present, Future]]>Sat, 09 Jul 2016 20:08:27 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/past-present-futureWhen I think of the reasons that a lot of us have anxiety, one often sticks out in my mind the most- future freaking.

What is future freaking? Well, it's pretty much what it sounds like. We spend a huge amount of time having anxiety about future events or situations and stressing about their outcomes. Think about the last time you were super anxious. Were you freaking about something that hadn't happened yet? An upcoming flight? A presentation at work? A lot of us are experts are worrying about the future and imagining all of these worst case scenario's in our heads. I share a tip with a lot of my students and it's something I use a lot when anxious- the Present Pause. I literally stop, focus and bring my attention back to the present moment. There is an awesome kundalini meditation that I love to lead and it's super easy to do at home when you need a little extra help releasing the trap of future freaking. So if you find yourself obsessing over something that hasn't even happened yet, or you just need a little support getting back to your present moment, try this meditation and start to feel better in minutes!

Kundalini Meditation to Ditch Future Freaking

~ start with sitting up tall
~use this mudra: rest the back of your left hand in your right palm. lay your right thumb in your left palm and cross your left thumb over your right one. it's like your thumbs are locked. then wrap your right fingers around the outside of your left hand.

~bring your interlocked hands to your heart
~use this mantra: dhan, dhan, ram dass gura
~do it: 11 minutes

Try this meditation the next time you want to stay connected to the present moment.

sat nam,
xo b

]]><![CDATA[Do you take time for you?]]>Thu, 07 Jul 2016 15:34:05 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/do-you-take-time-for-you

This is something I often think about towards the end of my day.

Since having a baby, my daily life pretty much revolves around meeting someone else's needs. And in the gaps between, I'm doing laundry, cooking dinner, taking care of our pets, cleaning up toys, prepping meals, running errands.. it's really easy for me to slide to the bottom of my list when it comes to my priorities.

I know for me, when I'm not taking care of myself, that gives my anxiety free range to come party. And I have no time for that! (literally haha!)

So I recently thought about some things I could do that would help me find 'me time' and that would help me feel replenished when I spend a lot of my day in 'give' mode. One of the things I did was join a gym. It's a great way for me to get my baby out of the house and around other little ones while I sneak in a solid hour of time just for myself. I've been hitting the gym a few times a week and always feel immediately better and refreshed post- sweat sesh.

I also make it a priority now to spend at least one of the babe's naps relaxing. Absolutely no cleaning, chores, dishes... whatever. I have been using her first nap of the day to take a bath or sit in my backyard with a magazine.

In the evening, once the baby is in bed and dinner has been finished and cleaned up, I made it a priority to get to bed early. It may seem obnoxiously early, but for me I found it helps to get that extra rest when i'm doing multiple wake ups during the night. I curl up, put on a favorite show and allow myself to "check out" for a bit. I used to journal or catch up on social media, but i found it suits me better to just unplug and unwind during this time.

Me Time is an absolute must to rejuvenate and replenish you. When you're tired, overwhelmed, overworked, or just plain stretched too thin, you are creating a breeding ground for anxiety. Anxious thoughts can run wild in a stressed out and tired mind. If you can, find time during your day for a quick mediation, yoga stretch, walk outside or even a quick nap. If your day is jam packed, as they often are, consider waking up a half hour early to read or journal. You don't even have to get up! Try some yoga twists in bed. Sometimes it can feel selfish to make yourself a priority, but if you don't, you can't show up to be your best self. To be a better person, partner, parent you have have to make time for yourself.

Figure out one thing you can do for you and do it every day for one full week. Journal how you feel after the week. See how you're able to show up in the world and for the people around you. I bet you'll notice the shift almost immediately.

How can you show up for yourself today?

Sat nam,
xo b

]]><![CDATA[Recognize the Other Person is You]]>Tue, 29 Sep 2015 12:55:37 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/recognize-the-other-person-is-you

Last summer I indulged in a Kundalini Yoga Immersion and found that, quite unexpectedly, I really resonated with a lot of the meditations, philosophies and practices. I've always been a hardcore vinyasa lover and didn't expect to gravitate towards Kundalini as much as I did.

Yogi Bhajan began teaching Kundalini yoga in 1969 and the practice itself focuses on harnessing the physical, mental and nervous energies and putting them under the domain of our will. There's not just a physical practice, but a strong mental and spiritual one as well and to this day I still practice many of the Kundalini meditations I learned in that immersion. I've also added some as I've come up against new challenges in my life. I love that Kundalini is really accessible to all and keeps it real when it comes to things we face on a daily basis- stress, work, kids, family, etc. And after a long mediation, I always feel blissed out and heady. It's always one of the first things I turn to when I feel stress and anxiety creeping' in!

One of the philosophies I absolutely adored was the 1st sutra of Yogi Bhjan's 5 Sutras of the Aquarius Age. (https://www.3ho.org/3ho-lifestyle/5-sutras-aquarian-age/1st-sutra-recognize-other-person-you )

Recognize that the other person is you.

I used to be quick to judge people and find their faults. I never considered that the faults I saw in others where ones I was afraid to see in myself.

As this little person grows inside me I realize more and more every day that soon a little pair of eyes will be on my every move and learning how to act based on my behaviors. I don't want the baby to make the same mistakes I did when I was younger. I would love for them to learn from people, rather than judge. And one of the most powerful lessons I can think of is actively practicing this 1st sutra. When we find faults in people, often times these are faults we are battling with but refuse to acknowledge. It's like a shadow self. Something that used to always be a sticking point for me was efforts people made. I often felt that people wouldn't make the same effort for me as I would for them. It led to many arguments and hurt feelings. While it's still a hard pill to swallow, I wonder if that was something I struggled with and never acknowledged. Maybe that's how people saw me?

Now I am very aware of how I see people and interpret their behaviors - again, behavior has no meaning until you assign it one. When I assign a meaning to someone's behavior, I want to take a moment to reflect on where it is coming from. Previous experiences or expectations? An issue I have that I'm not seeing or dealing with? Either way, it always makes me think twice and often saves me a lot of heartache and hurt. And the best (hardest?) part is that it forces me to evaluate my feelings, thoughts and emotions on a daily basis.

I really want to instill this in my child. The idea of always working on ourselves, making ourselves better than we were the day before. People, including ourselves, are always a work in progress with room to grow. The craziest part is I can also see other people judging and not realizing that what they are judging is something they are guilty of as well! I love self reflection and personal growth and this Kundalini philosophy really keeps that in the forefront of my mind. I'm not perfect, but coming back to this and meditating on it when I find an issue come up has really helped me stay centered and commit to awareness.

Is there a person that you find you have judged for their behavior that could possibly be something that you are struggling with? Do you believe we have this shadow self that is accessible only when we look at others? On the flip side- the beautiful and positive things we see in people are also a reflection on us! So if you're diggin' someone's generosity or kindness, take a moment to appreciate that in yourself as well!

sat nam

xo,b

]]><![CDATA[TruthBomb]]>Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:05:55 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/truthbombHappy weekend, lovelies!

I awoke at 5am with this blog in my head. I've been wanting to share it for awhile, but lacked the ability to put it into words. But, since the words seem to be flowing and the energy moving, here goes! Fair warning, I have coffee- you may want some too!

When I came back from my blogging hiatus, I alluded to many life changes that happened in the past 6 (now 8) months. The husband and I moved into a new home, we gutted and reno'd most of it (which is still going on) and there were other changes that ranged from job stuff to getting to know a new neighborhood. However, the most significant change came in the form of a little positive sign on a pregnancy test taken shortly after we settled into our new digs.

I have not felt heart pounding anxiety in a very long time, many years in fact, but that moment lead to a wave of anxiety like no other.

I guess all major life changes and shifts, no matter how wonderful, can lead to anxiety. And as someone naturally prone to it, I felt it hardcore. I was plagued by all of the 'normal' first time thoughts-

can i do this?

is this the right time?

maybe we took on too much?

do i have the ability to be maternal?

I've never been mistaken for mary poppins and I've never felt that natural motherly instinct, unless you count my four-legged babies, and then you'd see me melt into a puddle of love at the slightest tail twitch.

So yeah, anxiety- totally figured it would rear its ugly head. The thing is though, that I had not entered this lightly. I have been thinking about it for over 3 years. It is true what they say- no matter how prepared you are, you never really are. So, in order to deal with all of these life shifts and personal changes I took a break from blogging.

More often than not I found myself awake in the middle of the night worrying about everything from SIDS to college applications. Every time someone came into my home they commented on how un-babyfriendly it is which lead me to see it as a death trap for anyone under 30lbs. Books left me stressed out, my body's physical changes sometimes had me in tears and more often than not I felt completely overwhelmed and confused. I began to doubt my ability to handle all of this and started to shut down. Combine that with the fact that I was miserably sick for the first 4 months and you pretty much had someone that barely left bed. As I was riding this roller coaster, I decided to take some time for me to do things I knew would make me feel better. Just making that decision felt like I was taking back control.

I feverishly journaled, meditated, took long baths, practiced pranayama and channeled my worries into bite-sized hurdles that I felt capable of overcoming.

Just like I tell my students and clients, anxiety doesn't go away overnight. It's always there- what changes is our ability to cope with it.

I've said this before... I'm a person that knows my limits and can feel overwhelmed easily. This year has thrown more at me in the past 8 months than I've experienced in the past few years! But as I look around at our home, with our touches, ready to welcome our new little bundle, I know it is always worth it.

This past year has inadvertently been a lesson in letting go and giving in. Giving in to change and accepting whats around me. All of my environments, including my own body, have at some point felt foreign to me these past few months. It took months of dedicated reflection and acceptance to find my happy place again- amongst the chaos and change! I've settled into my new norm, my new home, my new haven. I've surrendered to things I can't control and learned to change what I can.

It's funny how fast that anxiety can come rushing back.

I'm excited to share some of the meditations and journaling practices I've been using. I'm especially thankful for having these tools to help me find my way back home. And, if possible, I think I know myself even better than I had before. I know I can handle more than I think I can. I know my worries are simply that - worries, thoughts, stress. They hold no truth. And most importantly, I know that anxiety, while still scary, doesn't control me anymore.

sat nam
xo,b]]><![CDATA[Do This: Forward Fold ]]>Mon, 03 Aug 2015 20:14:46 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/do-this-forward-foldA lot of times we think we need a full 60 minute class to reap the stress relieving benefits of yoga, but that's not the case! Sometimes one or two poses can help you reach a more chilled out place in a matter of minutes. For a quick stress-buster, I love forward folds.

Why they work: forward folds reverse blood flow and trigger your parasympathetic nervous system. The PN is responsible for calming our bodies and relaxing our minds. When we're in a stressed out state, it's our sympathetic nervous system calling the shots. Simply flipping upside down can halt the process and help us ditch the mental chaos.

Also a benefit, they can help us flip our perspective. Sometimes an anxiety inducing situation can be looked at in a different light, and doing that helps keep the (mental) peace.

So Stop, drop and fold!

if your hamstrings are tight, keep a gentle bend in your knees. You can cross your arms or hang them to the ground. Bring your chin towards your chest and let your back release. Keep your feet a few inches apart and let your breath carry you deeper into the pose. Don't push or reach, just enjoy! Bonus: you can totally do this at your desk while seated as well!

fun and forward folds,
xo b

]]><![CDATA[Your Body On Anxiety]]>Wed, 08 Jul 2015 13:21:32 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/your-body-on-anxietyOne of the biggest things to remember about anxiety is that it's not just "in your head."

The first thing I focus on with clients and in workshops is the effect anxiety has on our entire being.

I came across this HuffPo info graph showing the impacts of anxiety and wanted to share.

sat nam

xo, b

]]><![CDATA[Mini Mantra]]>Sat, 27 Jun 2015 15:00:02 GMThttp://www.anxietytozen.com/blog/mini-mantra1

sat nam
xo, b

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