Have you ever been disappointed by someone because they didn't do what you thought they would? Or because they didn't handle a situation the way you wanted them to? I've been there. It used to stress me out (and, honestly, make me upset!) when people wouldn't come through for me the way I would've liked them to, or frankly, the way I expected them to. The thing about thinking like this is that it's not really the other person that's affected by any of this- it's you! A co-worker didn't realize I was agitated if they didn't complete a project the way I preferred them to and my friends didn't notice if I was pissed because I anticipated them to do something they didn't.
My issue was that I was focusing on projecting my internal expectations to external people and circumstances.. and then getting frustrated at the outcome! Thing is, we can't control other people. We can't always control outcomes. But what we can control, or take part in, are our own expectations.
Here are 3 ways to allow people to show up for you in their own ways~
*Give them space to
I know... sometimes we think it's easiest if we just do things ourselves. I get it. But if you don't create space for people to step in, they never will. Be open to letting someone help you or take them up on their advice. Instead of shutting people out, give them the opportunity to be there for you and they often will!
*Ditch expectations
A lot of times we get frustrated because people don't do what we would like them to. Guess what? They aren't you! Everyone has their own way of doing things and if you always hold people to your expectations, instead of accepting them the way they are, it will always be you that's let down.
*Accept (and be thankful for!) what's offered
Even if it's not how you anticipated it or what you expected, if someone reaches out to you in an honest and caring way, allow yourself to accept and appreciate the gesture. People can't read minds and someone may be genuinely showing you love, but because it's not what you thought it would look like, you don't recognize it. Maybe it's a text instead of a phone call or a card instead of a visit. Don't hold anger or frustration towards someone else's way of showing you they care.
Once I started creating space for people, ditching my expectations of how I thought things "should" go and learned to accept and appreciate people and outcomes, I found I became a lot less stressed out about things. I was able to find value in things I might not have before and I even gave myself the permission to show up for people however I could, instead of putting immense pressure on myself to be who and what they wanted me to be.
sat nam!
xo b
My issue was that I was focusing on projecting my internal expectations to external people and circumstances.. and then getting frustrated at the outcome! Thing is, we can't control other people. We can't always control outcomes. But what we can control, or take part in, are our own expectations.
Here are 3 ways to allow people to show up for you in their own ways~
*Give them space to
I know... sometimes we think it's easiest if we just do things ourselves. I get it. But if you don't create space for people to step in, they never will. Be open to letting someone help you or take them up on their advice. Instead of shutting people out, give them the opportunity to be there for you and they often will!
*Ditch expectations
A lot of times we get frustrated because people don't do what we would like them to. Guess what? They aren't you! Everyone has their own way of doing things and if you always hold people to your expectations, instead of accepting them the way they are, it will always be you that's let down.
*Accept (and be thankful for!) what's offered
Even if it's not how you anticipated it or what you expected, if someone reaches out to you in an honest and caring way, allow yourself to accept and appreciate the gesture. People can't read minds and someone may be genuinely showing you love, but because it's not what you thought it would look like, you don't recognize it. Maybe it's a text instead of a phone call or a card instead of a visit. Don't hold anger or frustration towards someone else's way of showing you they care.
Once I started creating space for people, ditching my expectations of how I thought things "should" go and learned to accept and appreciate people and outcomes, I found I became a lot less stressed out about things. I was able to find value in things I might not have before and I even gave myself the permission to show up for people however I could, instead of putting immense pressure on myself to be who and what they wanted me to be.
sat nam!
xo b
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