Our teacher guided us through it. He encouraged us to really release. To really get pissed. To really go for it! And once I got that permission, I had a flood of emotion come up. I became so entrenched in that kriya that I almost didn't hear him as he guided us out of it. I have been dealing with some stressful situations and I never realized how much anger I was storing about it. It was one thing to get all pissed off in the moment and when having to deal with the frustrations that kept coming up, but when I wasn't directly dealing with that particular stress, I didn't think I had any anger within me. Turns out.... joke was on me because a sh*t storm came up! And it was one of the most powerful releases I ever experienced. My arms shook afterward, my body felt exhausted and my mind felt clear. It was a beautiful moment of peace. And since then, I've been practicing this kriya with amazing results!
It got me thinking back to when I was anxious. I know there's a lot of fear that clouds our minds and bodies when we're dealing with intense anxiety, but I think it can even go deeper. Sometimes we're just downright pissed!
"why me?" "why can't I be strong enough to let it go?" "why do I always have to deal with this?"
If any of this sounds familiar, don't be surprised. I can sometimes forget how much anger I used to have towards my anxiety.
So I wanted to share this clip from Maya Fiennes on a kundalini practice to release anger. This isn't the exact one I did, but it's very close. Pay special attention to the mantra and breath. Anxiety creates frustration and frustration creates anger... so it's an important part of our practice to work on letting it go. Mentally, I believe forgiveness does this too, but sometimes that's a hard thing to offer when your body is riddled with angst. When you practice this, AND forcus on forgiveness (remember, its for YOU, not them!), miraculous shifts can occur!